Dreams of my Someone

Hey! How's this for kicks? A funny shtick in a contemporary office-themed movie would see two twenty-something colleagues, one male and one female, standing awkwardly around a water cooler. The male, dimly remembering that the woman across from him has recently returned to the office from a wedding, would make small chat about the marriage of two people he doesn't know.

So far, so not very funny, you're thinking. Well, first of all, you can't see these two corporate doofuses in all their doofus splendor. And second of all, just cool down the pace for me little woman.

The kicker - what makes this a bit something that, in my mind, updates 'Who's on First' for the 21st century, is this - she attended a same sex ceremony! Hilarious! The guy doesn't know this, and he's hopelessly square, so you get dialogue like the following:

Guy: So, uh, how was the wedding?

Gal: Oh, yeah, it was really good, really fun. Beautiful, actually.

Guy: And it was a friend of yours from ... where? College?

Gal: Yeah, one of my best friends Jade from Sarah Lawrence.

Guy: And the spouse? Do you approve?

Gal: Yeah, she's awesome.

Guy: But what about her spouse?

Gal: Oh, they're both perfect for each other...

Guy: Oh so you like him?

Gal: Her.

Guy: I know you like your friend, but what about her spouse?

Gal: She's a she.

Guy: No, the guy she married.

Gal: Girl.

Guy: No, not her, the other one.

Gal: Ohhhhh, sorry...of course, I, like, totally love my friend.


Anyways, this careful comic brilliance is a dance that should stretch out for about 15 solid minuets, perhaps spliced throughout this as yet unwritten movie in fragments. To add to the hijinks, I think the guy should be someone like a Mormon, with pasted blond hair and a white shirt and black tie. The girl should be some variation on the stock character of nose-pierced 'bull dyke' (is that the expression?), or the equally tock and equally nose-pierced 'neo-hippy.'


So that's my bit for the night.