an excerpt from my forthcoming college novel, about loneliness, friendship, and the vagaries of the seasons in upstate New York

'I feel like people don’t talk enough about how fucked up black squirrels are.'

We’re standing under the expanse of a large tree neither of us knows the name of. It’s late August in upstate New York, freshman year of college. I’m waiting with my roommate for another student from our floor to go to the dining hall.

'I guess. I don’t know. Are there no black squirrels where you’re from?'

'Denver? No. Look at it. It doesn’t look like a squirrel at all. It’s like a little bear. A little black bear.'

His emphasis on the word black is just enough to make me uncomfortable. An inconstant wind, already feeling like fall, sends leaves from their branches in swirling twos and threes. He goes on.

'I don’t know dude. Is it racist to say that? Who knows? But I’ll tell you what, I’ve seen more black squirrels here than black students. I’m used to black students but not black squirrels.' He pauses to kick a stick. 'I wonder what black students think of black squirrels?'

'I think we might going in a racist direction,' I say wishing more than anything else my roommate didn’t talk so loud, or so freely, or was my roommate.

'Have you ever been with a black chick?'

I check my phone. I can feel him looking at me.

'Yeah me neither. Hey, a monarch butterfly!'

The black and orange flutters erratically past us.

'You know what they call people who study butterflies? Lepidopterists. It’s Latin. Actually the more obscure word to me is butterfly. I’m not sure where that came from. Butter fly. Did you ever take Latin?'

'No. I did French in high school. Actually, I think I’m going to start French again next semester. I didn’t sign up this semester.'

Another distinctly fall breeze. I think I see our third making his way toward us for our early dinner, the continuation of our friendship trial.

'Have you ever been with a Latin chick? Latina I guess is how you say it.'

'Hey, here comes Paul. Paul!' I shout. 'Over here!' I shout, louder.