The Harper's Index of my week

Average time I woke up this week, to the nearest minute: 8:30 AM
Number of minutes it took me, this morning, to come up with that figure: 26
Number of books finished: 2
Number of books started: 0
Number of books taken off my shelf, placed somewhere nearby, and then put back on my shelf: 2
Percentage of those books that were Hamlet: 50%
Number of unread New Yorkers on my nightstand: 2
Percentage of New Yorkers on my nightstand that are opened to articles about Siberia: 100%
Odds that articles on Siberia will ever be read: 1 in 240
Number of miles run: 7.5
Number of push ups pushed: 225
Number of sit ups sat: 775
Extent that my isolated workout regime resembles Robert DeNiro in Cape Fear, in percentage: 8%
Extent that my isolated workout regime resembles Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver, in percentage: 6%
Extent that my isolated workout regime resembles a rejected background aerobics queer from a Jane Fonda video, in percentage: 72%
Number of beers consumed: 7
Ratio of beers in cans to beers in bottle of said consumed beers: 7 to 0
Number of salads eaten for lunch: 3
Number of nights of Mac and Cheese: 2
Number of incoming calls: 4
Percentage of incoming calls that were courtesy calls in Spanish: 25%
Number of outgoing calls: 2
Percentage of outgoing calls that were to voicemail: 50%
Number of CDs taken out of the library: 5
Percentage of CDs taken out that were jazz: 40%
Percentage of CDs taken out that were country: 20%
Percentage of CDs that were by The Carpenters: 20%
Number of jobs applied to: 9
Number of responses, in percentage: 0%
Number of times I shaved this week: 5
Number of weeks since my last haircut, estimated: 6
Number of visits to the dentist: 1
Number of stitches taken out of mouth during visit to the dentist: 4
Number of weeks until my follow up dentist appointment: 4
Number of weeks left on my lease: 3