File under "Close But No Cigar" cross referenced with "Unfortunately Revealing"

You remember when people used to put pins on their jackets? I hardly remember doing it, but I must have, because I found a little envelope of pretty well worn pins in my closet. Herewith the collection of pins that I had and, presumably, wore on some sort of jacket that was assuredly neither leather nor denim. Corderoy, perhaps.




The most appropriate pin for a jacket and one that would almost make you think I did this right. A Duran Duran pin, an INXS pin, maybe something like the Union Jack? I wish that were the case. Keep scrolling - it gets worse and much, much weirder.




Yes, a typical rejoinder from me in Middle School was - "Duran Duran's alright, but what do you guys think of Leave it to Beaver?! Hilarious, right? [pause] Guys? Where are you going? Guys?




Because pre-pubescent anger needs to find an outlet somewhere. Mine found an outlet in sheer hatred of the rain.




This was probably the pin that I got after the Leave it to Beaver fiasco.




An Olympic pin is cool...but Archery? Seriously? In the '84 Olympics, Carl Lewis broke tons of records and I was glued to the track and field events. Why did I have a pin for archery, surely the least popular of all the summer games?




Sweet. Ontario. I remember lots of kids had the Saskatchewan pin, but I was pretty much the envy of my class with the Ontario pin.




The good old panic button. Press if you wore all of the above on the same jacket.


Now here's the interesting bit - these pins, though an eclectic grouping, are not an unreliable reflection of me. I really don't like the rain. Hatred might be too strong a word, but a heart with an X through it is not too strong a symbol. Though I don't do archery, I am into other odd, some would say effete, games. I fucking loved Leave it to Beaver! I think the zoo pin was from the Bronx Zoo. Though I hate zoos, as an insight into a sense of humor I think it's not wrong - textual, ironic, mildly teasing. As far as Ontario goes, well, not only do I like Canada, but I love Geography. The only one that doesn't fit is Duran Duran. I just never liked them.