Newsflash - The Iliad is fucking boring.
Adonis, son of George Stephanopolous, grandson of the coupling of Jackie Onassis and Zeus, esteemed in the eyes of gods and men, hurls his bronze pointed spear at Yanni. But the goddess from My Big Fat Greek Wedding watches and breaks the spear in half as it strikes Yanni's leather shield. Anger fills Yanni's loins and he strikes Adonis at the neck where the veins with blood run wide, and hews him solidly on the nape. The dark blood flows and the dark mist covers Adonis's eyes.
Repeat for 268 pages thus far.
One can't help but think that after the success of The Odyssey, Homer just phoned this one in.
posted by Sheridan Dupre @ 9:24 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
Phoned in, indeed. With lines like these it obvious, right?
"So it was here that the lord of men Agamemnon angered me.
Still, we will let all this be a thing of the past, since he picked up our bar tab."
Homer was so hot after the Odyssey, he could have taken a shit on a rock and they would have called it epic poetry.
Wait, didn't the Iliad happen first?
We can at least be grateful to Agamemnon for picking up the tab.
Yes, the Iliad does take place earlier than the Odyssey, but was it written first, or indeed told first? Who knows! Perhaps, in the light of day, the Iliad is best seen as a cautionary tale against prequels.
You know what else is boring? Looking at this damn post day after day.
Now you've made me be a troll.
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