Saturday, October 31, 2009

Pascal's Wager: If there is a God and you believe and behave accordingly, you are rewarded with eternal life. If there is a God and you willfully disbelieve, you are punished with eternal damnation. If there is no God, and you behave as though there is is, you gain nothing. If there is no God and you behave as though there isn't, you also stand to gain nothing. Disbelief then presents a graver risk possessing the possibility of eternal loss, whereas belief gives you the prospect of eternal gain, and nothing to lose.

Dupre's wager: If there is only one Luigi's Italian Ice in the freezer, and I eat it under the nose of my father who is in the other room and who would also like to eat it, my father will be pissed. If there is only one Luigi's Italian Ice in the freezer and I don't eat it, I will be pissed. If there is no Luigi's Italian Ice in the freezer, there is no dilemma. So, after I eat it and discard the evidence, and my father says, wasn't there a Luigi's left? and I say, no, and boy would I have wanted one, you know - Mom should buy some more, and my father agrees and starts yelling loudly that we need more Luigi's, then everyone wins, with the exception of my father, who doesn't know he's lost, and my mother, who is now sorely annoyed, but in not eating Luigi's doesn't know how many were in there to begin with.

The score? Dupre 1, Pascal 0.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Newsflash - The Iliad is fucking boring.

Adonis, son of George Stephanopolous, grandson of the coupling of Jackie Onassis and Zeus, esteemed in the eyes of gods and men, hurls his bronze pointed spear at Yanni. But the goddess from My Big Fat Greek Wedding watches and breaks the spear in half as it strikes Yanni's leather shield. Anger fills Yanni's loins and he strikes Adonis at the neck where the veins with blood run wide, and hews him solidly on the nape. The dark blood flows and the dark mist covers Adonis's eyes.

Repeat for 268 pages thus far.

One can't help but think that after the success of The Odyssey, Homer just phoned this one in.

Thursday, October 08, 2009


Does everyone know that it's "for all intents and purposes" and NOT "for all intensive purposes"? Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Also, "segue" is NOT pronounced "seeg".

Carry on.

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Stories to Learn By

Remember when we all used to read this book as kids and delight in its grotesqueness, thrill at the thought that this might just happen, and marvel uncomprehendingly at the idea of grace?

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Monday, October 05, 2009

Overheard in my house

The characters here are my mom and dad. The time is about 8:00 PM.

Dad [shouting from downstairs to mom who is upstairs]: You know, a lot of these vegetables you picked from the garden have an awful lot of bugs on them! [pause] Do you hear me!?

Mom [upstairs, distracted and irritated, entranced by DrudgeReport]: I know. Throw them out.

Dad: You want me to throw them out!? Even the green pepper!?

Mom: Does it have a lot of bugs on it?

Dad: I don't know! It's just lying there.

It's impossible for me to convey the tones - the agonizing, parental tones - and the volume - think jet airliners, think freight trains - in which this pointless exchange was delivered.